Absolute Johannes factotum
- SCP-8531 (?)
- SCP-8531 is a seemingly ordinary road sign that normally reads "Welcome to North Dakota," but occasionally changes to "welcome to FUNNY" for a brief moment. Anyone who sees and reads this altered text becomes an instance of SCP-8531-1, which means their sense of humor is permanently changed. These individuals can only create and understand jokes from the perspective of someone trapped upside-down in a vat of yellow liquid inside a warehouse, a situation they've never experienced. Over about seven years, those affected completely lose their ability to appreciate or produce any form of comedy. The "Funny" mentioned on the sign is described as a hungry, abstract being, with the sign itself sometimes called one of its "teeth."
- Michigan left (?)
- The article describes a "Michigan left" as an intersection design that replaces direct left turns with a combination of a right turn followed by a U-turn, or a U-turn followed by a right turn, depending on the situation. This design is primarily used on divided highways where left turns onto or from the main road are prohibited. Drivers on a secondary road turn right, then use a designated U-turn lane in the median to reverse direction and proceed through the intersection or turn right. Similarly, drivers on the divided highway who want to turn left must "overshoot" the intersection, make a U-turn, and then turn right at the intersection. This method, also known as a median U-turn crossover or restricted crossing U-turn, aims to improve traffic flow and reduce collisions by eliminating dedicated left-turn phases and simplifying pedestrian crossings, though it may require drivers to travel a slightly longer distance.